could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
