I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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