yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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