This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
