Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
