Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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