I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
