none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
