I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
