Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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