When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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