Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize