And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
