Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
