Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
