I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
