For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
