hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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