What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
