Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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