Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
