im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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