Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
