honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
