Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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