Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
