considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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