I'm gonna have a badass scar
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
