Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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