Porn is love you can see.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize