All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
