please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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