So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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