i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
