i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
