You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
