She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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