and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
