I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
