Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
