and i looked up. we had an audience...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
