theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
