we're blogging at a bar
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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