I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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