How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
