please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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