There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
