do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
