this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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