I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize