I don't think brook has ever known best
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
