Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I puked a lego.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
