the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
