South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
