It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
