so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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