I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
