No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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